Blockbuster vs. The World

When it comes to movie rentals there is Blockbuster and there is the rest of the renting world. It is Blockbuster vs. The World. I have to admit...I am cheering for The World.

I am cheering for Netflix even though I am never going to pay ten bones or any other bones per month to rent videos. I am cheering for cable and satellite even though my whole life I have only had bunny ears on top of our family TV. I am cheering for Mr. Movie to make a comeback. Blockbuster is like the Packers--you gotta cheer for whoever is playing against them.

My wife warned me. and I should have listened. but no. I am a guy and this is my confessional. Men can get lost. I have seen it happen at least.

I once was a Blockbuster fan. Now I have come to my senses. Now I see The World the way my wife has seen it from long ago...as a worthy underdog.

Here is my story. Hear me and side with The World.

I was suckered into Blockbuster's 'Buy two get one free' previewed movie deal. I found three great movies. Garden State, The Notebook (for the wife), and Chocolat--the last Chocolat in the store. I took them home to surprise aforementioned wife. The surprise was on me.

My wife immediately was not happy that I had bought some of our favorite movies from Blockbuster. I said they were three times as cheap as buying new ones. Turns out that I was right. Cheaper price, cheaper quality and cheaper service.

I went to watch Chocolat. My movie had been replaced with an imposter--a French film from the 70s called Chocolat. It was not the Johnny Depp Chocolat. My wife demanded that I return all of the movies to Blockbuster--I talked her down.

A few days later I returned Blockbuster's last 'Chocolat' movie. The kid behind the counter just glanced at my receipt and pulled two movies off of their rental shelves, picked the better one, and put it in my case. It has some sort of Blockbuster label on it which activated the store alarms so he handed it to me behind the exit as if I had rented it. Simple enough.

I went to watch Chocolat. It was the right movie this time but three different times from three different places the movie started over from the beginning. My wife was not happy. She wanted me to return all of the movies. I talked her down.

This time I talked to the store manager. I am sure that as soon as he saw me he didn't like me. As he opened the case and saw the old rental DVD he gave me one of those looks where the head doesn't move with the eyes. He was glaring at me through is stringy eyebrows. I explained--a little agitated with the situation. He said he would give me store credit for 9.99 or 6 something in cash. I said I wanted to exchange--secretly hoping Punch Drunk Love was still available.

I told him the exchange should be for free since Chocolat was my free video and the other two that I had bought (I was pointing to the receipt) were for 12.99. I should get a free exchange for any video up to 12.99. He said 9.99. I said that he didn't understand...that Blockbuster has this deal where you buy two and get the third free. It should be free. He said that I apparently didn't understand--he pointed to the price on Chocolat which was 9.99. I started looking around the store for a new hire employee that maybe could help their manager out.

Finally after further attempts to no avail I just decided to find a new video and pay the difference. This of course meant that I would have to explain to my wife why I gave Blockbuster more her hard earned money. I had the ride home to think of something to say to her.

I found Punch Drunk Love. It was for 14.99 (they had raised the price since my original visit). It had been 12.99. I took the video up to Wes--the new hire--expecting to pay 5 bones. He scanned my receipt and the video. The computer rang me up. It was Free. Wes, having been briefed by the manager, said that the video must be mis-priced. It was really 9.99. I shook my head. For once Blockbuster's archaic computer system came to my rescue. The ancient yellow computer sitting on their counter remembered that Blockbuster has this deal--buy two get one free. This is the deal that the manager apparently could not remember even though he could read my receipt. I did not explain this to the new hire.

On the way out to the car I opened Punch Drunk Love and noticed that it looked like a checkers board on the back with plenty of smudgy fingerprints to as well. I took it back to Wes who immediately got ten PDL DVDs and found the best one for me. Meanwhile, the manager took a break from everything that he wasn't doing to check in on Wes.

He had picked up the old Chocolat DVD and was starring at it. "No. no. no." he said pointing to the disk. looking at me through his eyebrows. He started explaining to the new hire that back in the day--two years ago I am sure--before Blockbuster got really good computers they used to mark DVDs with a hand written numbering system. The number that was on this DVD didn't match their store. Slowly shaking his head with a slight look of satisfaction he said, "sir, this is not the way we do things here. This is not how we do things." He turned as if to walk away with my receipt and my new (slightly used) DVD.

With the fear of my wife in me I leaned over the counter and pointed down to the old Chocolat movie. I glared through his fuzzy eyebrows and said, "No. I'll tell you the way you do things here. I don't know how you run your store but that movie came from here. That is not my problem. Your numbering system is your problem." I didn't move...still leaning forward...using all of my height to my advantage pushing those stupid WWJD bracelets to the back of my head.

"If he wants it let him have it."

Wes immediately rang me up. I was relieved and a little shaky. I had never fought so hard for a free movie before. Free food--yes--but not a free movie. He went to check me out but couldn't. He turned to his manager and asked if he was on my account. The manager looked sheepish...mumbled yes...and backed away from the other computer. Evidently he was checking out my rental record. I got my movie--thanked Wes--and headed for home.

I had never been called a thief before. I don't even have a speeding ticket on my record.

This was the last Blockbuster straw. My wife was right and now I know it. That is my confessional and I am sticking to it. It is The World or bust.