TWIP Notes II

One of my closest friends is in prison. He committed a horrible crime. His name is Jude.

I can never disregard the severity of his crime nor can I disregard its affects upon lives that have been unwillingly changed by him. However, that being said (and more could be said), I regard Jude with my utmost respect and admiration. In my heart I regard him as my brother. Although I am not the best at keeping in touch, I will never disregard him.

Prior to Jude's initial arrest he deceived a lot of people. It was hard to have been lied to. It hurt. It took courage on my part to trust Jude again. I do not make my self vulnerable in trusting Jude because he has proven himself trustworthy. I entrust my self to Jude because I love him. He is a part of who I am. I do not believe that he takes this for granted.

While I do not hold my self back from Jude I cannot but wonder if he feels that he must hold himself back from me. I wonder if the severity of his crime and the subsequent violations of many friendships cause Jude to expect judgment from even me. How vulnerable in friendship can one be if they expect judgment? In all of his conversations Jude is the suspect--his motives, thoughts, judgments, spiritual insights, process of recovery or any demonstration of normality are on trial. Because of his crime Jude may be left wondering how he can ever trust anyone again. This is gravely unfortunate when perhaps the greatest need for overcoming any traumatic human struggle is the need to trust someone.

While Jude's prison sentence continues I hope that our friendship will also continue to deepen. I am disappointed that since my military deployment I have only been able to visit with him twice. Prior to my deployment we talked almost every other week. With my graduate schedule it takes a lot of pre-planning to achieve a visit with Jude. This is something I look to improve--for both of our sakes.

When I visited with him in January we got on the topic of blankets. I was complaining at how few blankets I have ever had that were made for people over 6 feet tall. Blankets should come in shirt sizes--small, medium, large and extra large. Often I try to curl up in a blanket to watch football in the fall and I can only cover my mid section. If I cover my feet the standard blanket only covers up to my nipples. If I cover my shoulders then my feet stick out.

Jude took matters into his own hands. While in prison he has taken up knitting. He is really good. Today I am the proud owner of the best blanket that I have ever tucked around my body--a product of months of Jude's hard work. No longer will I be a blanket complainer. My blanket even has a tag on it that says "Made Especially for you by Jude." Nice touch.

Andrea was kind enough to send me this picture (thanks, Andrea). The picture does not do justice to the warmth, snuggleability, and vine-like patterns in this blanket. Here it is for the second installment of This Week In Pictures:

Thanks Jude.