TWIP Notes III

Laura, my wife, just finished her first mini-triathlon on Sunday. She swam, biked and ran in Baxter, MN with our good friends Ben and Jenny. I watched.

I am proud of her. It has always been a dream of hers to do things like this. It is worthy to take note when someone begins to accomplish a dream. Too often dreams lack the occasion, metal and gumption to become reality. So to take note of this dream I took pictures.

This Week In Pictures third edition is pretty self explanatory. I would include captions if I could figure out how. I once knew how but have since forgotten. The pictures progress in chronological order from pre-race to post-race and include me, Laura, Ben and Jenny (mostly Laura of course).


Good job crazy people!

TWIP Notes II

One of my closest friends is in prison. He committed a horrible crime. His name is Jude.

I can never disregard the severity of his crime nor can I disregard its affects upon lives that have been unwillingly changed by him. However, that being said (and more could be said), I regard Jude with my utmost respect and admiration. In my heart I regard him as my brother. Although I am not the best at keeping in touch, I will never disregard him.

Prior to Jude's initial arrest he deceived a lot of people. It was hard to have been lied to. It hurt. It took courage on my part to trust Jude again. I do not make my self vulnerable in trusting Jude because he has proven himself trustworthy. I entrust my self to Jude because I love him. He is a part of who I am. I do not believe that he takes this for granted.

While I do not hold my self back from Jude I cannot but wonder if he feels that he must hold himself back from me. I wonder if the severity of his crime and the subsequent violations of many friendships cause Jude to expect judgment from even me. How vulnerable in friendship can one be if they expect judgment? In all of his conversations Jude is the suspect--his motives, thoughts, judgments, spiritual insights, process of recovery or any demonstration of normality are on trial. Because of his crime Jude may be left wondering how he can ever trust anyone again. This is gravely unfortunate when perhaps the greatest need for overcoming any traumatic human struggle is the need to trust someone.

While Jude's prison sentence continues I hope that our friendship will also continue to deepen. I am disappointed that since my military deployment I have only been able to visit with him twice. Prior to my deployment we talked almost every other week. With my graduate schedule it takes a lot of pre-planning to achieve a visit with Jude. This is something I look to improve--for both of our sakes.

When I visited with him in January we got on the topic of blankets. I was complaining at how few blankets I have ever had that were made for people over 6 feet tall. Blankets should come in shirt sizes--small, medium, large and extra large. Often I try to curl up in a blanket to watch football in the fall and I can only cover my mid section. If I cover my feet the standard blanket only covers up to my nipples. If I cover my shoulders then my feet stick out.

Jude took matters into his own hands. While in prison he has taken up knitting. He is really good. Today I am the proud owner of the best blanket that I have ever tucked around my body--a product of months of Jude's hard work. No longer will I be a blanket complainer. My blanket even has a tag on it that says "Made Especially for you by Jude." Nice touch.

Andrea was kind enough to send me this picture (thanks, Andrea). The picture does not do justice to the warmth, snuggleability, and vine-like patterns in this blanket. Here it is for the second installment of This Week In Pictures:

Thanks Jude.

TWIP Notes I

I am back from studying. I admit that I was also on a family vacation to Gull Lake in the Brainard/Baxter area. It wasn't strictly studying for me.

I have pictures to share. This week I will share pics from a camping trip that I took over my birthday with some college friends, our vacation pics and pics from Laura's triathlon that she ran yesterday.

This Week In Pictures begins with a camping trip to Buckhorn State Park, WI. I took this trip with some friends from UWEC. We have managed to stay friends even though we are spread out across Wisconsin and Minnesota. Many (if not most) of my memories from college include these guys. From Left to right they are Ryan Kane, Jason Belair, Tom Mews, Jason Viner and me.

This last picture includes the women that made it out to camp with us (of course many were invited)--Carolyn on the left and Laura on the right (her picture was skillfully added later by Ryan). We also went to Noah Ark water park (on Aug 12...my birthday) and tried to bowl in town (even the Jewish kid from Milwaukee was no match for Jason Viner :) ) But as usual, my favorite times were at night around the camp fire. Laura and I look forward to next year.

For more pics of the camping check out Ryan's website.

Headlines

I know that I promised to leave a place to muse for a while...I will. I just saw these breaking headlines and thought that I would include them here.

Rumsfeld Makes Surprise Visit to Wife's Vagina "Rumsfeld: 'I am proud to report that my wife met and exceeded the operational standards set by the U.S. military for readiness in a two-front war.'"

U.S. Intelligence: Nukehavistan May Have Nuclear Weapons "It is believed that over 90 percent of Nukehavistan's 17 million citizens work in the power-plant industry."

Evangelical Scientists Refute Gravity With New 'Intelligent Falling' Theory "In Matthew 15:14, Jesus says, 'And if the blind lead the blind, both shall fall into the ditch.' He says nothing about gravity."


For more headlines like, Bush Does 360 On Abortion Stance, visit The Onion

Poetry and the GRE

I am going to take a break from a place to muse (until the last week of August). Studying for the GRE (Graduate Record Examination) has taken over my life. I have always been a little nervous about my academic abilities. I am not being modest. I am not one of those straight A students who is nervous about getting a B. I like Bs. Bs are my friend. I have always done just what I have to academically--nothing more or less.

In high school I got a 3.0 GPA so that I would be able to maintain lower car insurance rates. In college I got a 2.5 GPA so that I could keep my job as an R.A. It is not that I couldn't have gotten better grades--I just never had any reason to try...until now. So I don't know what I am capable of doing academically. I will find out soon enough.

This is my last year of my MA in Christian Thought at Bethel Seminary and hopefully it will be on to a PhD program in American Literature after that. This is something that I never thought I would do--more school.

When I return to the blogosphere I will post pictures of a recent camping trip that I was on and hopefully share a story (and picture) of the best blanket that I have ever owned. For now I will leave you with a poem that I have written....

I admittedly do not know much about poetry. It is a hobby that I would like to develop. So if any of you reading this do know things about poetry I am always starving for constructive criticism. You can do it publicly with a comment on this blog or email me personally. Don't worry about hurting my feelings (or flattering me). As of this point I am not emotionally attached to my abilities as a poet (at least I don't think I am). The poem is a bit out of season...


I have left my breath
behind as I've walked
for all to see
the strain on my heart--
my lungs can't disguise it.
'Everyone's Welcome'
at the Blue Moon Cafe--
but my feelings
seem to be descending
like this mist--
like the temperature
for that matter.
So why? and why
should I take
the long way--
forgetting you hurt me
seems so much
warmer today.

Will we say
a partial good-bye--
like those ancient swords
in plexi-glass cases
at the Chicago Art Museum?

I should have worn
another jacket.
It is a long, cold
walk to Spring.


Brett Knutson
aka b-nut

Twins and Cubs

If I could ever figure out how to add categories to this blog I would probably have one for baseball.

Since I am studying for the GRE all day (and am getting a late start) I will post light today. Just enough to say congratulations to the Twins for their marathon win against the White Sox. Today they go for the sweep (on the road) against baseball's toughest team.

Congratulations to the Cubs as well. It has been a miserable season to any fan with high expectations (Cubs fans should know better). The Cubs are sadly tied with the Brewers in their division--it has come to this. However, despite their woes they are still hanging on to the Wild Card race. Last nights victory over the Astros should give them a good boost.

For the first time this season the Cubs are playing with their intended starting lineup. Nomar is finally back and contributing. Even though Wood is throwing out of the pen now it should be interesting to see how they are able to finish a tough season.

Redemption vs. Evangelism

My good friend, Adam, is starting a multi-day post on evangelism. I responded to his post today and thought that I would include an edited version of my response here.

I might be a Christian that does not see evangelism as an essential spiritual discipline. I am not against people developing a faith and practice in relationship to the Christian God. However, I am against the idea of making converts (evangelism) as a primary relational motivation. I am against the strong us/them distinctions that the word evangelism evokes. I am against sitting around with Christian friends and philosophizing about how to convert my friends. I am also against (as you mentioned, Adam) attractional, depersonalized, marketing schemes designed to lure others into an 'organizational christianity'--this is propaganda and is what many organizations participate in to some degree.

If we took the word 'evangelism' and placed it in the semantic toilet and flushed for a long time, that would be good.

We are in need of new words to reconstruct how we relate with one another. Redemption, until perverted, might be one of those. If we are at work to redeem each other it does not matter whether or not we have faith or will ever come to faith.

If someone is going to redeem another then they must really know them. If one were to redeem my frustrating night last night then they might tell me how valuable my thought processes are despite the how they lead me to procrastinate. They might give me the courage I need to embrace what is good about me. This of course would require that Christians can read the world (the world not according to Thomas Kinkade) and discover beauty, goodness and truth in what they see. This is a task which I fear that many who don't regard Jesus as their Savior are just plain better at--even though they may not embrace a larger-than-life story which has any redeeming value.

Then again, the word 'redemption' might not be what I am looking for. I just know that the way that the word 'evangelism' (and sometimes 'witnessing') has emerged within Christian subculture is repulsive.

Incidentally, I feel the same way about the word 'missional' as it is used in some circles. Don't get me wrong. I am not against telling someone 'facts' about Christianity or about how meaningful my faith is for me; I am not even bashful about telling friends that I think my faith can be meaningful for them. However, this is not a one way street.

My friends (regardless of faith) can have a redeeming value for me if I give them a voice in my life. This weekend I spent time camping with some of my closest friends--even though we are distant. I don't know if any of them would profess to be a Christian, although some might; I am sure some would not.

These friends have full reign in my life to offer me advice and console me in life. I respect what they have to say. They tell me when I am treating my wife poorly and even help me make career decisions. They even listen to my frustrations with my faith and occasionally read this blog. This past weekend I learned from them when a joke can go to far; I also learned about what is refreshing about being loved. I have few friends that care for me like they do.

Because of my faith I believe that all of these things that I learn from them (full of goodness, truth and beauty) are from God. They minister to me out of the gift of life that God has given to them. I only hope that I can do the same for them.

It is ultimately up to each of us (Christian or undecided or non-Christian) what place we will give the redemptive power of Jesus' story in our lives. In this regard we are all equal in our pilgrimage. Each day our questions, doubts and beliefs face new relevance.

The Power of a Journey

I am sitting at Dunn Bros. listening to Lynyrd Skynyrd's Sweet Home Alabama. I could listen to that song for a really long time. Even now as it is winding down I want someone to hit 'repeat'.

There is something in my heart that noticeably swoons when I hear "big wheels keep on turning.'" I flashback to just yesterday as I was riding down I94 with a long time friend wondering what it would be like to be the driver of an 18 wheeler for even a short time...to see what they see.

I have this same fascinations with trains, railroad tracks, space, air planes, barges, rivers, oceans, big ships, buses, and even hiking trails. They each contain an element of mystery--like their distant destination, the unknowns of their journey and the stories of those who journey together.

Even the star ship Enterprise launches me into a futuristic journey where possibility is all that there is. Old photos on the walls of restaurants residing in historic buildings also never fail to launch me into a nostalgic journey of what once was. This may have been part of the 1980s appeal of Back to the Future.

These journeys into the unknown are all full of possibilities. They contain both the possibility to freshly define ourselves in a moment of time as well as the possibility to be newly defined or discovered by the journey itself. Each presents us with the opportunity to discover something new--the potential to escape our lives as we know them and discover what we always knew could be there.

Stowing away on a ship or empty rail car is about embracing romance. It is about the embracing dreams and ideals. It is about giving voice to our restless heart.

I used to lay on my back on the airport's tarmac waiting for the next plane to arrive at its designated parking place. I would stare into the night sky with my ear muffs drowning out the airport noise and dream about new possibilities. Often as I loaded a plane with bags I would notice the destination tag and wonder what it must be like to travel there if only for a night.

I am sure that each journey would get old--they are idealistic after all--but that is precisely why the power of a journey keeps haunting us. There is always something new around the corner. There are always past journeys to romance us so that they may bring new energy to our present. There are distant worlds and future possibilities to bring us forward to what is next.

There is character to be forged on pilgrimage. It is the self-defining journey of Frodo and the rest of his Hobbit and Elven friends that is too seldom related to our own quests of school, job hunting and family raising. In our own journeys it is important to be inspired by those who have gone before us and those places that are yet undiscovered. Without this romance we will soon be bored with ourselves. We will not be intrigued by our own journeys--we will be trapped by them.

In the practical world that I live in I am sure that I would tire of traveling, but I can't imagine that I will ever tire of dreaming. In fact, the journey described by Lynyrd Skynyrd is one which is tired of being on the road. It is a coming home to all that is familiar. Their journeys have spawned in them a new romance for their home, Alabama.

Maybe it is often in our travels that we realize where home is. Maybe the power of romance is that it always brings us to what is real--no matter how warm or harsh that reality may be. Maybe I like the mysteries of travel--or journeys--because they ground my restless heart in what really matters.


Sweet Home Alabama
(ed king - ronnie vanzant - gary rossington)

Big wheels keep on turning
Carry me home to see my kin
Singing songs about the southland
I miss alabamy once again
And I think it's a sin, yes

Well I heard mister young sing about her
Well, I heard ole neil put her down
Well, I hope neil young will remember
A southern man don't need him around anyhow

Sweet home alabama
Where the skies are so blue
Sweet home alabama
Lord, I'm coming home to you

In birmingham they love the governor
Now we all did what we could do
Now watergate does not bother me
Does your conscience bother you?
Tell the truth

Sweet home alabama
Where the skies are so blue
Sweet home alabama
Lord, I'm coming home to you
Here I come alabama

Now muscle shoals has got the swampers
And they've been known to pick a song or two
Lord they get me off so much
They pick me up when I'm feeling blue
Now how about you?

Sweet home alabama
Where the skies are so blue
Sweet home alabama
Lord, I'm coming home to you
Sweet home alabama

Oh sweet home baby
Where the skies are so blue
And the governor's true
Sweet home alabama
Lordy
Lord, I'm coming home to you
Yea, yea montgomery's got the answer

Video Games, Death and Jesus

I came across some interesting gaming stories. I am not much of a gamer--not since college. Now I am strictly a Minesweeper and Solitaire player. I thought that I would leave these quirky stories with you over the weekend.

The first is about a gamer who died from a gaming overdose. Check it out here.

The second story is about the growing role that Jesus is playing in video games. No kidding. "I play a lot of Christian video games," Tolin said. "They don't have fights. You just have to follow Jesus and pick up little crosses for points."

The Christian game industry is hoping to break into a large untapped market of Christian gamers. Although the task is daunting they claim that the Christian music industry wasn't made overnight.

Is it just me or is anyone else tired of the building and maintaining of a Christian culture that attempts to parallel 'mainstream' culture? Doesn't this add to the 'us/them' mentality? Doesn't this add to the degree of separation between a Christian and the rest of the world? This article gave me flashbacks of the movie 'Saved.'

Am I being overly critical of the Christian gaming industry or do we really need to pick up little crosses for points? You can read this article here.

A Nation at War...still

The front page of the Star Tribune headlines that 2,000 Minnesotans are at attention for deployment. My wife and I have known about this for some time. A year ago this month I was somewhere on my way home from a yearlong peacekeeping mission to Kosovo with the United States Army. It is uncertain where another year into the future will have me. I try not to put my hopes on any one scenario. Until it happens, and sometimes even while it is happening, deployments are about as predictable as the weather. That being said, many of my friends have been packing their bags for months now.

I am proud of my military service and I will be proud to serve again if so called. I am also a Christian. Depending upon whom I talk to these two things, being a Christian and being proud to serve in an armed force, go together like Pizza and cheese or like oil and water. What follows is an honest attempt to discover this soldier's heart. It is an unrefined place that has, despite that fact, chosen definite loyalties. But are they conflicting loyalties? Maybe.

Stanley Hauerwas would think so. Hauerwas is one of America's premiere theologians/ethicists. He is one of my role models in Christian Thought. He is also a pacifist. Incidentally, if you are a pacifist or are uncertain whether you are then you should at least be familiar with Stanley Hauerwas. I have never met a more convincing pacifism. I admire him for it. No one brings to life the Christian story like he does.

Hauerwas argues, simply stated here, that Christians do not live in some in-between time that separates the initiation of the Kingdom of God and some further establishment of it. Rather, when Jesus assumed the throne at his ascension, the Kingdom of God was firmly, fully and eternally established. It is consequently the believers' job, the church's job, to witness to that fact. We are to operate as if we are what we are--members of an eternal peaceable kingdom. Believers are not to be nationalists. They are to be witnesses to an eternal and invisible kingdom that is not of this world. Any participation in governmental structures is simply to serve these ends. This seems to make some government jobs sticky scenarios for Christians if not off-limits.

War, for Hauerwas, is simply one of two things--or a combination of them both. 1) War is an effort to obtain what we do not have (James 4:1-2); 2) War is an effort to secure what we love. Both of these elements involve a level of both greed and fear. Both of these elements are efforts to secure on earth what has already been secured for Christians in heaven. Heaven, or the eternal peaceable kingdom, is the reality that must grip and unite believers. Christians are to live life with an eschatological focus. In other words, the 'end' of our story defines how we live today. This 'end' is all ready present. It is the peaceable kingdom to which we witness. It is the church. It is our ethic. It is that which makes the world, the world, and the church, the church. It is that which is ruled by Jesus--right now. Christians are to live out of their eternal security--keeping in mind their whole story as believers, not just their earthy story; and Christians consequently have no need to secure their earthly fears and wants. Such efforts do not witness to their secured citizenship in God's kingdom.

Just War theories, on the other hand, assume that we do live in an in-between time. The peaceable kingdom does not fully emerge until the earth passes away. Until then, Christians must attempt to figure out how to participate (or not) in the inevitable war nature of earth. If one agrees with this 'in-between time' assumption (which I do not) then one must wrestle with what qualifications for war are 'just.' This is often a very nationalistic and arbitrary process which occasionally--if not frequently--draws on Scripture's war metaphor, human life values, and Israeli history without adequately dealing with Hauerwas's position. Hauerwas, reversely, can articulate and defend a Just War position better than most adherents and arguers.

Herein lies my affliction. I am a soldier--willing to kill. I also agree with Hauerwas's story of the church--witnesses of that which has already come. I apparently am conflicted. This may be more than apparent; it may be that I am actually at odds with my self. Is there a way to be loyal to both kingdoms? What makes the United States right all of the time? It is not. It is a nation that has to do exactly what Hauerwas said. It has to obtain what it does not have and it must protect what it loves--it owes as much to those whom it serves and to those whom find residence within its sovereignty. To what degree it must do these things is up for much debate, but what is not debatable is that it must do these things at least to some degree (a great degree) in order to exist as a nation. In fact, without securing what we don't have and what we love we would not be this nation at all--we would be nationals of some other nation which did instead.

For me it is not about whether or not the United States is right. No one in our government is ever going to give me enough facts so that I can properly asses the situation in Iraq. For those who are not principally pacifists, where one falls on the debate over Iraq is not about who is right or who is wrong as much as it is about how much one trusts what they know about the war. Our information is closely connected with our sources. There are people in my neighborhood who would wonder what George Bush was hiding if he declared that the sky was blue and that grass is green and that cows mooed. They do not trust his administration; they do not trust his motives. There are many who feel the same way about the media--with the exception of Fox News of course.

The nation and its people retain the privilege of debating whether or not Iraq is a Just War by positioning their cases upon whom and what they trust and whom and what they do not. A soldier has given up that privilege long ago. A soldier does not decide anything but how to execute that task that has been assigned to her. The amount of freedom in that decision making process often depends upon the task at hand and the rank of the soldier. A soldier's trust is pre-committed and directly depends little upon current public debates of right and wrong. A United States soldier's trust is based, rather, upon a faithful loyalty to the democratic voice of the people as put forth by their representatives.

It is ultimately my life, and the lives of those we take, which I have submitted to this democratic process--to the United States. This is a sobering thought. In my sobriety (and possibly looking for relief) I wonder whether or not Hauerwas is right. Must a true witness of a peaceable kingdom never take a life or give her life for a simply earthly cause? To what extent can one live in an earthly nation and not be a part of it? How much do the people of the church want the best of both worlds--freedom to practice religion here and in heaven? These are tough questions. I don't have an answer for them.

Many of the military's new recruits shown on the covers of the nation's newspapers, just as in today's Star Tribune, are a special breed. It used to be that recruits would join for college money or for some financial/job security. While that may still be the case in some desperate circumstances, the fact that we are at war means that recruits must have a more life-giving relationship with their decision than what they can receive for college. Many see the decision as an opportunity to serve their communities. Maybe Minnesota has the nation’s highest recruiting record--at 85% of their projected goals--during this wartime effort simply because we have a large number of youth who are looking for purpose. That purpose is to give back to the nation that has given to them.

I suppose that I share in this purpose. As far as we know, Jesus did not tell the centurion to abandon his position (Luke 7:1-10). He did not encourage members of an eternal kingdom to stop funding war efforts by ceasing to pay taxes (Mark 12:13-17). These may be feeble attempts to justify a decision that I have already made and loyalties that I have already chosen. However, I am comforted that my story does not end here--not on this earth. I am also sure that there are other ways to witness to an eternal and peaceable kingdom even while serving a secular nation as a soldier. Since this is my circumstance I am unwaveringly committed to my service.

Whether we like it or not, every part of our daily life here on earth is built upon the lives of those who have fought before us on behalf of secular nations just like this one. It is up to us to figure out how to honor, acknowledge and respect that terrible truth. Although Christians may be nomads on earth, they cannot escape benefiting from those who have died to preserve each nation’s way of life.

I do have one request. If there are Christians who are serving a secular nation with their lives then the rest of us can find it in our time to serve that same secular nation in ways which our faith allows. If the parable of the good Samaritan is at all a witness of the eternal kingdom then we need look no further than our own neighborhood.

In Honor of Pre-Season

In honor of the Bears winning their first pre-season game I added some additional sports links that are of interest to those in the upper midwest. It looks as if the Bears will be getting better within one of the weakest divisions in Football. But...for all I care the Bears can go 2-14 and the Packers can go 14-2. There are only two games this season that really matter. And if you want to watch the games together, I will even buy all of you Packer Backers a round of Schlitz...hopefully you will need it.

Blockbuster vs. The World

When it comes to movie rentals there is Blockbuster and there is the rest of the renting world. It is Blockbuster vs. The World. I have to admit...I am cheering for The World.

I am cheering for Netflix even though I am never going to pay ten bones or any other bones per month to rent videos. I am cheering for cable and satellite even though my whole life I have only had bunny ears on top of our family TV. I am cheering for Mr. Movie to make a comeback. Blockbuster is like the Packers--you gotta cheer for whoever is playing against them.

My wife warned me. and I should have listened. but no. I am a guy and this is my confessional. Men can get lost. I have seen it happen at least.

I once was a Blockbuster fan. Now I have come to my senses. Now I see The World the way my wife has seen it from long ago...as a worthy underdog.

Here is my story. Hear me and side with The World.

I was suckered into Blockbuster's 'Buy two get one free' previewed movie deal. I found three great movies. Garden State, The Notebook (for the wife), and Chocolat--the last Chocolat in the store. I took them home to surprise aforementioned wife. The surprise was on me.

My wife immediately was not happy that I had bought some of our favorite movies from Blockbuster. I said they were three times as cheap as buying new ones. Turns out that I was right. Cheaper price, cheaper quality and cheaper service.

I went to watch Chocolat. My movie had been replaced with an imposter--a French film from the 70s called Chocolat. It was not the Johnny Depp Chocolat. My wife demanded that I return all of the movies to Blockbuster--I talked her down.

A few days later I returned Blockbuster's last 'Chocolat' movie. The kid behind the counter just glanced at my receipt and pulled two movies off of their rental shelves, picked the better one, and put it in my case. It has some sort of Blockbuster label on it which activated the store alarms so he handed it to me behind the exit as if I had rented it. Simple enough.

I went to watch Chocolat. It was the right movie this time but three different times from three different places the movie started over from the beginning. My wife was not happy. She wanted me to return all of the movies. I talked her down.

This time I talked to the store manager. I am sure that as soon as he saw me he didn't like me. As he opened the case and saw the old rental DVD he gave me one of those looks where the head doesn't move with the eyes. He was glaring at me through is stringy eyebrows. I explained--a little agitated with the situation. He said he would give me store credit for 9.99 or 6 something in cash. I said I wanted to exchange--secretly hoping Punch Drunk Love was still available.

I told him the exchange should be for free since Chocolat was my free video and the other two that I had bought (I was pointing to the receipt) were for 12.99. I should get a free exchange for any video up to 12.99. He said 9.99. I said that he didn't understand...that Blockbuster has this deal where you buy two and get the third free. It should be free. He said that I apparently didn't understand--he pointed to the price on Chocolat which was 9.99. I started looking around the store for a new hire employee that maybe could help their manager out.

Finally after further attempts to no avail I just decided to find a new video and pay the difference. This of course meant that I would have to explain to my wife why I gave Blockbuster more her hard earned money. I had the ride home to think of something to say to her.

I found Punch Drunk Love. It was for 14.99 (they had raised the price since my original visit). It had been 12.99. I took the video up to Wes--the new hire--expecting to pay 5 bones. He scanned my receipt and the video. The computer rang me up. It was Free. Wes, having been briefed by the manager, said that the video must be mis-priced. It was really 9.99. I shook my head. For once Blockbuster's archaic computer system came to my rescue. The ancient yellow computer sitting on their counter remembered that Blockbuster has this deal--buy two get one free. This is the deal that the manager apparently could not remember even though he could read my receipt. I did not explain this to the new hire.

On the way out to the car I opened Punch Drunk Love and noticed that it looked like a checkers board on the back with plenty of smudgy fingerprints to as well. I took it back to Wes who immediately got ten PDL DVDs and found the best one for me. Meanwhile, the manager took a break from everything that he wasn't doing to check in on Wes.

He had picked up the old Chocolat DVD and was starring at it. "No. no. no." he said pointing to the disk. looking at me through his eyebrows. He started explaining to the new hire that back in the day--two years ago I am sure--before Blockbuster got really good computers they used to mark DVDs with a hand written numbering system. The number that was on this DVD didn't match their store. Slowly shaking his head with a slight look of satisfaction he said, "sir, this is not the way we do things here. This is not how we do things." He turned as if to walk away with my receipt and my new (slightly used) DVD.

With the fear of my wife in me I leaned over the counter and pointed down to the old Chocolat movie. I glared through his fuzzy eyebrows and said, "No. I'll tell you the way you do things here. I don't know how you run your store but that movie came from here. That is not my problem. Your numbering system is your problem." I didn't move...still leaning forward...using all of my height to my advantage pushing those stupid WWJD bracelets to the back of my head.

"If he wants it let him have it."

Wes immediately rang me up. I was relieved and a little shaky. I had never fought so hard for a free movie before. Free food--yes--but not a free movie. He went to check me out but couldn't. He turned to his manager and asked if he was on my account. The manager looked sheepish...mumbled yes...and backed away from the other computer. Evidently he was checking out my rental record. I got my movie--thanked Wes--and headed for home.

I had never been called a thief before. I don't even have a speeding ticket on my record.

This was the last Blockbuster straw. My wife was right and now I know it. That is my confessional and I am sticking to it. It is The World or bust.

Frogtown Pastor

I wanted to draw your attention to a new link on this website. I had briefly met the Frogtown Pastor before he went to Frogtown. He was a pastor at Hope Community Church--which is, years ago, the last church that I have attended (and a good one). I have gotten to know him a little better through recently reading his blog. Check it out.

I also want to draw your attention to an incredible story. I found the link on the Frogtown Pastor. I could easily erase all of my posts about the Beauty of God and On 'Making Converts' if I could only replace them with this story. As it is, poetic prose can bring to light things that other forms of writing can never do justice to.

It is a semi long story, but once you start you will have trouble putting it down. It is the story of a friendship with a porn star. Grab a cup of joe (or whatever your drink is) and partake on a rewarding journey. If I could beg you to read it I would.

Reversing our Hermeneutics

A Modern era biblical hermeneutic is still alive and well in local bible studies, local churches, college ministries, Christian radio stations and daily conversations. It is a hermeneutic which causes us to 1) Read the Bible, 2) Get Information, and 3) Tell Others. There may be very few people who actually have the skill sets to be able to do this effectively. It is a hermeneutic which causes us to view the Bible as something to 1) Take to, 2) Give answers to, and 3) Critique pop culture.

Many times these answers and critiques come in the form of defining what is right and wrong. Should I read Harry Potter or shouldn't I read Harry Potter? I had a friend, for example, who upon having their first child got rid of all their movies that had a rating higher than PG. For the Modern era, 'raising children in the way that they should go' meant defining for them what was right and what was wrong by looking to Scripture for these cultural answers.

I always found it ironic when a pastor would use a movie reference in her sermon and then recommend that no one go see the movie--alluding to the thought that we, the congregation, couldn't handle the movie spiritually. The Modern era attempts to enforce a universal (valid for every human being) right and wrong upon our relationship with culture and upon pop culture's relationship with us. This hermeneutic is didactic. It attempts to teach pop culture rather than learn from it or dialogue with it.

"Reversing the Hermeneutical Flow"--as I heard it phrased recently in a b2g gathering--involves a method that is uncomfortable for those of us who have been trained by Modern era thinkers. It is a hermeneutic that causes us to 1) Read/talk about the Bible, 2) Reflect, 3) Live, and 4) Reflect with Others. What is maybe most difficult for Modern era-trained Christians is that, 2) Reflect, is not a reflection upon information gained from reading or talking about Scripture. It is rather a reflection upon the unresolved nature of the stories found there. Similarly, 3) Live and 4) Reflect with Others, is simply an attempt to relate one unresolved story (Scripture) to another (our lives) in hopes of finding a meaningful integration.

It is interesting that non believers--untrained by Modern era biblical hermeneutics--may be more adept at this 'new' hermeneutic than many believers are who have to untrain themselves. In fact, it may only be in dialogue with a 'mixed' bible reading group that some believers can catch on. If this is the case then it may be non believers that can best train Christians in new ways of approaching Scripture. As is the case with this reversed hermeneutic, every time we read Scripture it is a fresh experience. It is not a reading that has in mind a certain right set of conclusions beforehand. Therefore, it can form a reading group that does not necessarily need to be lead by one with superior biblical knowledge.

This hermeneutical approach to Scripture is a hermeneutic which causes us to view the Bible as something to 1) Create Tension and 2) Create Questions in dialogue with pop culture. It is not didactic. It is not attempting to teach or give answers to pop culture any more than it is attempting to be taught and learn new insights from its Advertisements, Music, Film, Sports, Art and TV. This hermeneutical approach is always holding (for purpose of illustration) in one hand the narratives of Scripture and in the other hand the many intermingling narratives of our culture--It is attempting to make meaningful connections.

In the reversed hermeneutic there is not a sharp separation between non believer and believer. All are teachers and all are learners. The differences emerge between us all--Christian and non Christian alike--when we take notice of which narratives are shaping our meaningful connections.


There is much more to unpack here about Reversing our Hermeneutics. Hopefully what I have written here is enough to prompt questions and initiate thoughts. I have a variety of sources for some of the above insights. They have all intermingled to produce today's musing. They directly and indirectly include the b2g movement, Niebuhr, Shults, Pannenberg, McFadyen, and Hauerwas. If you are interested in what came from whom then let me know.

Pouring Concrete: An Update

I am sore, but I didn't die. I paced myself. I found the smallest wheelbarral they had and went to work. Toolman Dave did an incredible job preparing for the 'big pour.' The stairs from Hell were cream puffs--they were cake. Dave had constructed a real life Shoots and Ladders in his back yard. All we had to do was pour the cement down the right shoot and it went down into the right place. Brilliant.

Everything went smoothly despite the efforts of a neighborhood dog to mess up our finished concrete by playing in it. Needless to say, that dog is going to have a heavy stomach after he cleans himself up.

We ended the night with friends, wine and beer--the way a night should be ended.

Pouring Concrete

Today I am helping a friend pour concrete. It is a huge job and as you all know I am not a Toolman. I am worried about my muscles, my lungs...about being the only guy who tips over a wheelbarral (buggy) of concrete (mud) in the wrong place--like on the grass or a bush.

I had thought that I had timed this job nicely. I was going to miss the 'big pour.' It should have happened when I was out of town last weekend. Nope. Now I am home--a willing Tool.

Maybe I am being a little sarcastic. I actually enjoy helping my friends. But I am pretty sure that someone might die trying to pour their back stairs. It might be me. They are the stairs from Hell. Of course, once they are full of settled concrete they will be the stairs from Heaven.

Dave and Jill, I am determined to get my use out of your stairs. I will have to come over more often now. That is just the way that it will have to be.

Bring on the PowerAde!

On Making Converts

I titled this post On Making Converts. A more accurate title might be Why Making Converts is not the Point.

My wife is a nurse. If you have ever been a patient in a hospital then you know how important nurses are. They often posses certain qualities that can make or break your hospital stay. Recently I spent four days in Abbot Northwestern's new heart hospital--for a head injury. I grew very attached to my nurses.

They helped me pee. They washed me. They gave me pain medications. They walked me. They listened to me. They made sure that doctors paid attention to me. They would smile at me. They bandaged my arm. They cleaned my bloody ear. In short, they made me feel really good. They made me feel like I had an advocate, a voice, and a special place in a really large hospital. They took time for me even though they had a thousand other things to be doing.

Needless to say, when you are depending on a nurse for all of these things it is easy to get attached to them. Every shift change I would eagerly wait to see who my next advocate and companion would be. I would wonder: is she going to be nice? is she going to like me? will she make me feel good? is she cute? The last thing that you want in a hospital is to feel like you don't belong there--like you are a waste of somebody's time.

My wife had a patient who had grown pretty attached to her. In fact her whole family was attached to their nurse. This patient was dying. It was with that realization that my wife discovered how she also was really attached to this women. My wife had rarely seen a family with such gentleness, such sweetness and such love for one another.

As the family was making their final preparations my wife asked if they would like to see a Chaplain. A family member of the dying woman quickly responded by saying, No. They have never been religious and she has no need for God. My wife was heartbroken (as anyone who believes in the possibilities of rich relationships with God would be). It was already hard enough for her to say good-bye to such a sweet woman.

As my wife's shift was about to end each of the family members wanted a hug from their favorite nurse. Finally the patient asked if she wasn't going to get a hug too. Her nurse walked over to the outstretched arms to say good-bye...to say I love you...and to kiss her cheek. The patient also expressed her love to the nurse she had come to know as "cold hands." She died soon after.

Often times my wife gets to pray with her patients or to let them know of her care by saying little things to remind them of God's love. This time she chose not to even offer a "God bless you." She felt like that would have been disrespectful and unloving. It was important to honor this patient as she was dying--even, if not especially, her choice to not know God. It is only then that my wife could truly be with her patient as she died.

Sometimes, as Christians, we are never truly with our friends. For many Evangelicals, relationships with those who do not believe are contrived so that they may know God. What happens when knowing God is not desired by our friends? Is there room for respect in our love? Or do we love only to make converts?

I have been with Christians (and I once may have been one myself) who are so focused on helping others know God that they overlook the good that is in their friend regardless of whether they ever choose to know God. Does the gospel of God's kingdom have relevance apart from making converts or giving people the 'right' answers? What might that be?

If only we, as Christians, could answer that question we might be in a better place to enter into dialogue with our society. We may even be in a better place to find the goodness of God in our friends, in our art, in our culture and in the love of a dying patient.

The Art of Possibility

The Art of Possibility is a book that I will be reading. I know that I promised to return to "a place to muse" today to share a little about b2g. I just spent the weekend in North Carolina with a group of other people from across the nation to dialogue about b2g. I am still processing. It is good. I am really tired (that is what happens to introverts at these types of things). It is freeing. And it is not the 'next greatest thing.' I will have to explain that later. While I process I will leave you with a poem by Emily Dickinson:


I dwell in Possibility--
A fairer House than Prose--
More numerous of Windows--
Superior--for Doors--

Of Chambers as the Cedars--
Impregnable of Eye--
And for an Everlasting Roof--
The Gambrels of the Sky--

Of Visitors--the fairest--
For Occupation--This--
The spreading wide my narrow Hands--
To gather Paradise--


We will see what comes next.